DELLA'S DIARY

●Dear Diary, I saw my stepfather with a woman. I was shocked because of this situation. He kissed and hugged her. They weren’t like friends. Because they seemed so candid. My stepfather deceived my mother. I ran home and went to my room. I cried all night. I wanted to tell my mother. However, I didn’t. I think I’ll become insane. I decided to kill my stepfather. Then , I gave up committing the crime. Because my mother wouldn’t stand it. (Büşra Soltan)

●Dear Diary, I was fed up with discussions everyday. I don’t want to listen to my stepfather insult me. They don’t notice my life has changed. I can’t get along with anything because of a matter of life. My social worker, she thinks that my problem was out of the ordinary. However, it was very easy. (Ayşe Sadi)

● Dear Diary, my father didn’t call me again yesterday. I am very unhappy. My stepfather behaves badly towards me. He is also alcoholic. Besides, he beats my mother and me. He came home drunk yesterday. As usual, he beat my mother and he came near me and he started to beat me. Although my mother tried to, she couldn’t prevent it. He didn’t stop. When he went, my body had all become bruised. I went and sat on the floor of my closet. And I started to cry and pull out my hair. After that, I stopped and realized that this is a kind of disorder. I took the phone and called a social worker. I made an appointment. Today I went to the social worker. I realized that my disorder was out of the ordinary. That was why I was ashamed to tell it to him. Maybe one day I’ll be able to say. (Melikenur Balıkçı)

●Dear Diary,   my stepfather is a very bad person. He always treats me badly. My mother forced him to be married. We lived in poverty after the death of my father. My stepfather has a daughter. He loves his daughter so much.  They wanted me to help them at home. 2 years ago he wanted to marry me by force. But I ran away from home. Then the police brought me home. It was very difficult for me. They beat me more. Then I started to pull my hair out. After I escaped from the house, my mother didn’t like me. I am very worried. Today my stepsister lost her homework. She accused me. They beat me for the lost homework. (Hilal Karakaş)

●Dear Diary,   I am very upset these days. Everybody supposes that I am crazy. One of the problems is that I pull my hair out. Neither the social worker nor my stepfather knows this. I go and sit on the floor of my closet. I have a small light bulb there and I have a mirror. I touch the top of my head. However, the social worker doesn’t understand me. I won’t make an appointment with her again. She thinks that my incident is out of the ordinary. Eventually it isn’t. I will change after today. It’s the beginning of a new life. (Ömercan Pekteş)

●Dear Diary,  I feel very bad. I don’t know what I should do. Why did my father leave us? Why does my stepfather treat me badly? There are many similar questions in my mind. I enter my closet and pull out my hair. I hope that when I puu out my hair, these questions will go out of my brain. I want to get along with my stepfather. I’m worried I’ll damage myself. We live under the same roof but in different worlds. I can’t deal with these troubles. I need love. I am suffering. I can not tell my problem to anyone. I must go to the psychiatrist. Maybe he can help me. (Hilal Yılmaz)

●Dear Diary, today isn’t different from any other day. Everything is bad again. I am feeling lonely and I think nowadays I am in depression. I can’t continue my life under the same roof as my step father but my mother mustn’t be informed about that. She must continue to believe that I am happy. If she learns that I don’t like my stepfather, I will be more unhappy. I don’t want my mum to be unhappy because of me. I decided to leave home when I am an adult. Because I don’t like my stepfather. I don’t understand why my mum loves him. He gets on my nerves. I am afraid I have to stand him for my mum. And what’s more, my hair is less than yesterday. (Pınar Demir)

●Dear Diary, my stepfather is angry. He is always irritated. I don’t know how to deal with him. He doesn’t like me. I can’t get along with him. Unfortunately, I live under the same roof as him. Today I was so afraid of him that I broke down into tears. Because he shouted at me. I don’t like him. I made an appointment and went to the doctor. He said ‘ I had never encountered a problem like you.’ I got surprised and sad. He said ,’You are out of the ordinary.’ He provided me of a new psychiatrist and I went to him. He treated me well. (Betül Kantarcıoğlu)

● Dear Diary, I went to school as usual. Due to my hair and clothes, everybody thinks I’m crazy.I’m angry with htem and my mother. I hate everybody. Because everybody makes me feel embarrassed. My mum is guilty of everything. She knows her new husband is a very bad person. Despite knowing this situation, she doesn’t do anything. She disappoints me and she takes me for granted. I start losing my belief. (Tuğçe Şenbaş)

●Dear Diary, I had never encountered a situation which is worse. I couldn’t get along with my stepfather at all. I was sad but he didn’t mind. He badly influenced me. I was missing my biological father. I couldn’t explain my problems to anybody. I decided to make an appointment with a social worker. At first I couldn’t mention my problems which really disturbed me. Then our appointments helped me learn to deal with my problems. I no longer think about my stepfather. I put him aside. I just think about my life now. (Can Kartal)

● Dear Diary, Before I begin my words, I want to say that I am so upset. Because I had been to my social worker eight times in a month, but he didn’t understand my big problem. I wish he had understood me in the first session.  He finally did but he didn’t give me a solution which I had expected. He said to me ‘You must go to a psychiatrist.’ But I am not crazy. I won’t go there. He made me very angry and I ran away from him. When I arrived at home, I decided to leave home to live my life. I managed to live on my own without any help. Now I don’t pull my hair out and I have beautiful curly brown hair. (Mehmet Emin İpek)

● Dear Diary, I am unhappy with my stepfather. I can’t get along with him. He deceives my mother. I saw them together in our house. He saw me, too. He said to me ‘If you say anything to your mother, I can kill her.’ I am afraid of him. Thus, I don’t want to live under the same roof with him. I feel responsible for this situation. I must tell my mother but I can’t say anything to anyone. I cry every night in my wardrobe. I missed my biological father and I missed a real family. (Ali İzzet Damar)

● Dear Diary, today I went to the closet as usual. I sat down and I looked in the mirror. When I looked at my hair, I noticed my hair at the top. I felt bad. I thought about how I could cut my hair. A few minutes later, an idea came to my mind.’ Why don’t I use a wig?’. I just found a wig. Immediately I went to my closet and started to cut my hair. After cutting, I watched ‘Happy Tree Friends’ and now I will go to bed to sleep. (Emre Tekin)

● Dear Diary, one more day has passed and I am in silence. Therefore I continue to be unhappy. I don’t want anybody. I don’t want to hear anybody. I go to my room and I just sit in my closet. Today I broke down into tears there. Now I am writing tearfully. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the social worker. I don’t want to go. Because I am afraid. (Şeyda Sönmez)

● Dear Diary, you are my best friend. If you don’t understand me, nobody can. I don’t feel good nowadays. I am very alone. I miss my biological father. When I had a problem, I used to explain it to him, yet I don’t tell anymore. I don’t know where to go. I don’t want anything. My father used to pat my curly brown hair. If I don’t have a father, I don’t want any hair. Therefore I touch the top of my head. I went to the social worker in the morning. He said : ‘Della, I can refer you to a very good psychiatrist who will decide if medication is an appropriate treatment for you.’ I hate him. I am not crazy! (Ayşegül Durur)